Wednesday, February 4, 2009

This is really gonna suck


I don’t know how many of y’all have played American football, but I am going to write here a fairly extensive post using football as the central metaphor. Now for all you folks in other countries who aren’t familiar with the game, bear with me, I think that you will be able to puzzle out what I am trying to say.

We have become a nation of quarterback wanna be’s. In a sense, the changes to the pro game reflect the desire of the nation for a fast-moving exciting game. Lots of scoring, lots of flashy plays that play well on the jumbotron. It is exciting, the stars are well paid and flashy, fast and glib.

But now we are moving into a different time and place. The opponent we face is tough and relentless. The rush is withering and our fancy-pants fast stars are getting their ass pounded. This sucks for them, as they aren’t really big and strong and mean enough to handle the punishment.

Now lets pan to the lineman. These folks here have no illusions about the elegance of the game. No one volunteers to be a lineman. Lets face it, the linemen are usually the big, fat, slow kids when they start out. But somewhere along the line a transformation happens to the linemen. They start enjoying the game, they get strong and fast and they work harder than hell. They are in the furball every single play. They smash-mouth and move forward come hell or high water. Getting your ass kicked is part and parcel of every game. But you play it anyway because it is your shoulders that win the game.

So now we as a country are moving away from the fancy plays. They have shown us just what they are, smoke and mirrors. We are going back to smashmouth football, where the fullback goes up the middle and grinds like hell for a couple of yards. Then his linemen help him up and they go at it again and again. No elegance, no flash, no deception, just football as a team, just beating the other guy straight up.

We have to get over the idea that the skinny elegant man in the white house can whip out a touchdown with just brains and a plan. How we are going to get through it is hard work and sacrifice and getting up every day and going at it again. We will get our asses handed to us sometimes, not because we didn't try hard enough, but because the other guy wants to win too.

So, stop thinking like a prima donna QB. It is time to become a nation of linemen.


Anonymous said...

I don't always agree with you but in this case I think your dead on.

Lets just hope our quarterback doesn't let us down trying to be the hero.

Mayberry said...

I think the point was "screw the quarterback".... New Hampshire, Arizona, Montana, Washington state, and Oklahoma have picked up the ball and decided to run with it! Check it out....

Anonymous said...

Have a somewhat dim perception of the game but still get the post. Great stuff, as always.
I always wondered how many quarterbacks a football team had because in your movies everyone has been one. I was schocked when I found out there is only one quarterback in every team...